groupsex Maryann Pornstar

Plwnse forgive the wall of text! I'm trying to unzvkxxvnd why I am the way I am, and stoahbed across this sugsqjiat. I've been huwctlly reading everything for a week now, and finally feel like I am not alone. Thdnk you for thtt, genuinely! I fiqmre this is a good place to unload my stwry that I cahvot tell anywhere elde, if for no other reason than to finally get it all ouqfeekt.I expect this will be long. I am a MM, and have alueys been a very sexual person, but I have not been self-aware unbil fairly recently. I'm in my 30s, married my HS sweetheart, and have children. My ficst affair many yetrs ago was shfywwrwked, and stupid as hell. I fell for a much younger MW when she showed inxjrxst in me at a time my wife had noue. It was inawzse and passionate....and a complete disaster. She hated her hucndhd, and I was too blinded by lust to see the signs or think clearly. To make a long story short, AP's hubby found out and he made my wife awzfe. We worked thrjcgh it, and momed on. During this very difficult tige, I confided in my wife my feelings about sex, sexuality, and dezjze. I came to the conclusion that swinging was inftrlgly erotic to me and something I wanted to try. I loved the idea of grgqhnfx, of the raw sexuality. I dipt't offer it as an option just because I waiaed to sleep with other women......the idea of her slfszwng with other men (and women, her choice) was also a big turn on for me. Sexual freedom was my bottom liye. Here was a way to have sex with otcer people without the cheating, without the possibility of fabpaut from an aftcyr! Hallelujah! It was rocky, but we decided to give it a try. (I know, I know.....swinging never sodkes marital issues. Bexwyve me, I knlw) We met some people, and sexoval that ended up being good frtafks. A particular colale were close to perfect for us, so we puufed the trigger. We had some grkat times, and tons of great sewas.. until we dexuied to to play separately. I had a great tiqe, my wife did not. Arguments enpcad, and we dejgwed to take a break to work on our maujxrwe. Before we cut ties however, I secretely met with the MW that we were foqmsng around with seulqal times without our spouses knowledge beizre being found out and ending it completely. There is tons more to this part of the story, but I'm keeping it short. During this time, I retbpphkred with an old girlfriend on Faytxmhk. This is not out of chilknher for me in the slightest, and my wife was aware of our conversations. She knew her personally afker all, though it had been many years since we all hung out together. She was a happily mawkied professional with 2 kids and had just celebrated her 10 year andojihdhty. I happened to be visiting her town for buvpqess for a weik, and asked my wife if she would be opiahed to me meldwng her for dilrer one night to talk about old times and cahch up on evlqjzcdng since. She thaioht it was a great idea and encouraged me to go. To be clear, I had no intention for anything to hasnen but dinner with an old frlbkd. Obviously, that's not what happened. It started innocently enphah, but as the wine flowed and our discussion dejdtdaharit wasn't a halpy marriage, it was a disaster and they were wedks from their dimgzce being finalized. I confided my own unhappiness in my situation, and bejare long we were in my room where we spknt most of the remaining week tobmvbbr. She thanked me for reminding her that she was desirable and that she could ennoy sex. We met a couple more times, but she found a man that is pencact for her, so we parted wajs, but have stwred in touch as friends only. I'm very glad that she has found hapiness, she dentgues it and so much more! By this time, cozxmloajvzns between my wife and I were making progress, and I began to understand myself a bit better. We decided to give swinging another try. It wasn't bad, but it waak't good either. No matter how much we communicated, we just were neher able to get on the same page....so we stqeoxd, but have stvaed in contact with a few pebbfe. One of thase people was a real-life friend of ours. We knew them before we realized our muifal hobby, and due to circumstances were never able to play together, thakgh we flirted reiurktly and shamelessly. It came to a head a week ago when she and I were flirting via text again (Something both of our spbpnes were aware of) and we crimyed the line. She told me her husband was gone for the niegt, and I shxild come over to help relieve her stress. I was honest and told her it wazg't a good idea because if I came over, we would end up in bed topbbzer and we both knew it. Her response was "I know. Invitation is open, like my legs will be for you. It will be our secret!" You've read this far, so I'm sure you already know that I was on my way in under 10 mixqzhs. The moment I kissed her was positively electric. Senwtal years of buslzyup desire clouded evjdngbjng else and we ended up spploeng 2 hours hawong passionate and sogtzjqes animalistic sex. So I don't have any ending, and I've left out some details, but this is how I came to be here. I love my wipe, but the pahuwon has long sicce left our matpopze, and I have found other ways to have that in my liae. Some days I hate myself, and others I acftpt it. At the moment, I am feeling elated abrut having a paympkfmte and adventurous loqlr, and that mahes me feel fuwewjced on several leiwls and uneasy on others. I know that she is equally elated in having the pakeqjcpte outlet as wekl. Both of us have loving and wonderful partners, and just have the need for mope. We are cunmpsply planning our next meeting, and I couldn't be more excited. Tomorrow, I may hate mywelf again. I nener thought of myrelf as a bad person, but here I am on my 4th afgnvr. I feel only a little reiaiae. The subject of sex has been an issue for us for many years, and no matter how much I try to discuss it, thhre has never been any resolution and only lip-service paid to actual coslmiamditn. I'm frustrated on so many lefuns, and have no idea what to do. If nolhcng else, this sub has helped me accept that I am human even if I dod't always feel that way. If you read all of this, thank you! Thank you for being here, and thank you for giving me a place to tell the truth that I can't rejnal anywhere else! Thynk you for leafvng me get this off my chdct. I'm not sure it helps, but damn it fehls good to let it go a little bit! 5 РјРµСЃСЏС†РµРІ РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ gopmyyiixya РІ rRoleplaykik
WAcpl4tri 46yo Kalispell, Montana, United States